Iowaska Church of Healing

“Women in motion, truth in action”

Channeled by BaBa DaDo

I am a woman,  and I mean that like a vow, not like a question.

I am human.
I bleed when I’m hurt. I laugh when I’m safe. I breathe even when my heart feels tired.
I am spirit, not a distant idea, but something real that moves through me, pushes through me, claims me.

I have been trapped before, a spirit in a bottle, sealed by fear, by history, by what I thought I had to endure.
And then, life tossed me into the ocean.

But the ocean didn’t destroy me.
It trained me.

I became waves.
I became water.
I became the force that keeps returning even after it’s been knocked down.
I became the seed and the miracle,
the joining that becomes generations, the continuation that becomes a future.

I am someone’s daughter.
I carry the tenderness they couldn’t always protect, and the lessons they couldn’t always explain. I am the contents of my heart, not the edited version, not the “acceptable” version, the whole honest truth.

I am the endless rush of feeling – restless, radiant, complicated.
I am nothing to people who don’t understand me, and I am everything to myself when I finally listen.

I am restless, because my soul refuses to sleep inside a cage. Restlessness is my warning system and my compass at the same time.

I have grieved.
I have cried until my ribs felt like a storm.
And still I kept going, because grief doesn’t mean you’re broken,
it means you loved deeply,
it means you’re alive enough to feel,
it means your heart is still trying.

I am a child in my bed being sung to sleep,
even if the song was small, even if it was late, even if it came from someone else’s imperfect love.
I am that child, and I deserve safety now,
not as a fantasy, but as a decision.

I am a fingerprint in time.
I am proof that I existed,
proof that I mattered,
proof that life left a mark on me, and I left one on it.

I am lost at sea sometimes.
I have been lost in thought, lost in rooms, lost in versions of me I didn’t choose.
But I learned something fierce:
being lost is not the end.
It’s the beginning of navigation.

I am memory.
I am emotion.
I am a sensation .
The body’s language, the mind’s weather, the heart’s truth.

I am the evolution of DNA passed down through generations,  not only the biology, but the story. I carry what came before…
and I get to decide what survives through me.

I am my mother.
I am my father.
And I don’t worship either one.
I transform what I inherited.
I take the strength, I keep the wisdom,
I refuse the harm.

I am scars on my skin.
I am marks that last forever,
not because pain wins,
but because proof exists.
Proof that I got through.
Proof that I endured.
Proof that I learned how to heal.

I am aging, and aging is not decay.
Aging is witness. It is time sanding down the parts of me that were built to survive,
so the parts of me built for living can finally show.

Some days I felt slowly dying,
like my spirit was fading to stay safe.
But I’m done romanticizing survival.

Now I choose renewal.
Now I choose life on purpose.
Now I choose to stop treating my future like it’s a reward I have to earn by suffering.

I smile.
I cry.
I laugh again.
I keep going even when my insides are loud.

I am beautiful.
I am also “ugly” to the world that demands perfection. And I don’t care.
Because beauty is not just appearance,
beauty is returning. Beauty is surviving and still wanting more.

I am shame too,  yes, I have carried it.
But shame is a lie with a costume.
It says, “You’re too much.”
It says, “You should be different.”
I unmask shame.

I am Heaven.
I am Heaven when I forgive myself.
I am Heaven when I hold my own gaze with respect.
I am Heaven when I stop asking my pain for permission to exist.

I am afraid of living.
I have been.
Afraid of being seen.
Afraid of wanting too much.
Afraid that joy will make the next hurt worse.

But fear doesn’t get to run my life anymore.
Fear can ride beside me,  it can’t drive.

I have pretended.
I have performed safety.
I have worn masks – a logical conclusion to an old survival plan.
A mask on a face that wanted love without being punished for needing it.

But I’m done with illusions.
I’m done with pretending I don’t feel.
I’m done with the old contract that says I must shrink to be worthy.

Now I speak truth.

I am love, real love, brave love.
The kind that doesn’t abandon me when it gets hard. The kind that doesn’t ask me to disappear.

I am free.
I am wild.
I am tame too.
I am not one emotion.
I am not one mood.
I am the whole spectrum of being alive.

I am the goddess in my own bloodstream, magic, not as fantasy, but as transformation.
Magic in motion.
Magic in the way I keep turning pain into wisdom.
Magic in the way I keep choosing myself.

I reach out for more,
for better love, better boundaries, better days. And yes, I have hidden.
Because vulnerability takes courage.
But I don’t hide forever.

I let myself be seen.
Even if my voice shakes.
Even if my hands don’t always look brave.
Even if my heart is still learning how to trust.

I have been a wretch wrapped in rags.
I have been a mess.
I have been at the bottom, begging life not to give up on me.
And I learned:
the bottom is not the end, the bottom is where you stop bargaining with your own worth.

A queen is not a title I borrow.
A queen is what I become when I stop begging to be treated right.
A queen is what I become when I stop living like I have to earn my right to exist.

I am lust, not only the body’s desire, but the soul’s hunger for something real.
I am lust for truth.
I am lust for freedom.
I am lust for a life that doesn’t demand I betray myself.

I have lied to myself.
I blamed myself for what hurt me.
I minimized my pain.
I called it “nothing” because admitting it felt dangerous.

But I’m done lying.
I’m coming clean.
I’m searching for answers,  and sometimes the answer is not a person or a plan.

Sometimes the answer is me:
the part of me that refuses to accept less.

I swim upstream,  against old patterns that try to drown me. I move through grief without drowning in it. I face what I’ve avoided because avoidance is just another kind of fear.

I am the wanderer, the one who doesn’t stay stuck in the same street.
I am the road.
I move forward.
I don’t freeze.
I don’t wait for perfect timing to start becoming.

I am the deepest desire,  the one that knows there’s more inside life than what I’ve been settling for. The one who recognizes truth when it shows up.

I am causeless joy,  joy that doesn’t require permission from anyone’s approval.
And when I can’t feel joy, I still choose the actions that lead to it.

I am luminous darkness, the sacred power of the places I used to fear. The place where I learned the difference between surviving and living.

I am treasure and strategy.
I don’t just suffer, I build.
I design my recovery like an architecture of self-respect.

I am hunting, hunting for what fits.
Hunting for what honors me.
Hunting for a love that doesn’t make me smaller.

I am the kill,  I kill what harms me.
I kill the cycle. I kill the lie that I’m too broken to change.I kill the version of me that thinks endurance is the same as happiness.

I am the silence of the night,  and the endless chasing thrill of getting back to myself.

I am pure wisdom.
Not perfection, wisdom. The kind that comes when you stop pretending you’re fine and start building yourself anyway.

I am the lover, learning how to love without abandonment. Learning how to desire without self-erasure. Learning how to be tender without being naive.

I am lost and then found. I am trying, and trying counts.I am searching, and searching matters.

I am faith and heartbreak,  because faith doesn’t mean you never hurt.
Faith means you don’t give up on your future even after pain has tried to convince you it’s pointless.

I am groundless,  and I still stand.
Because my stability doesn’t come from control. It comes from truth. It comes from the fact that I keep choosing myself.

I stop asking “What if I fail?”
and I start asking “What if I become?”

I keep coming clean. I keep learning.
I keep answering my own call.

I discover who I am,  and I become her,
steadily, fiercely, undeniably.

And if anyone still doesn’t understand me,
that’s okay.

I’m not here to be understood by everyone.
I’m here to become fully alive.

I am powerful now.
I am healing now.
I am becoming now.

“I am a woman, human and spirit in motion,
and I turn every storm into fuel, every scar into proof, every fear into forward movement.”

To all sisters, mothers, and wives,  and to my daughter: keep moving with courage, keep loving with truth, and never forget you are worthy of everything beautiful. – BaBa DaDo