THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY
In the unique circumstances of life on this planet, some among us are fortunate to have our eyes opened to the deeper truths that lie beyond the illusions and deceptions that cloak our world. Others remain entangled in the web of old beliefs and fears, unable or unwilling to see beyond the veil.
As you find yourself standing moving down your awakening path, you will be faced with a profound challenge; the illusion of the loss of family or loved ones who view you as an outsider – someone dangerous to the family community because you do not fit within the context of their narrative.
The phrase “The Black Sheep” describes a family member who is perceived as different or unconventional compared to the rest of the family, which resonates with most people who find themselves on the road of reality. Let’s explore together both the gifts and the challenges that come with being the first to awaken in your family and social circles, The Black Sheep.
Addressing What Is Occurring
Sometimes called “The Black Sheep,” awakened souls often stand out even more as their journey of self-discovery deepens, leading to a place of immeasurable clarity and understanding that may seem perplexing to the still-sleeping majority. In this place where illusions of “fitting in” or “doing a good job” you once held have been shattered, you can expect that people you have known you for a long time will be the first and the most hurtful in their protests of your changes.
From your family of origin to your spouse, lifelong friends and confidants, you will be illuminated to the truth as to who truly accepts you for YOU and who loves you for how you make them feel or what you do for them.
As you continue to deepen your spiritual connection and the truth of your being shines ever more brightly, you will inevitably cast light up on things other people do not want to see. As you look upon your family and loved ones, you will see more and more how mired they are in the grip of the past, shackled by the chains of old dogmas and fears that serve only to perpetuate the illusions of the world.
The more aware you are of the true power you have in this life, you will simultaneously start to recognize more closely your loved ones’ dependency to seek solace and numb themselves with any number of unhealthy habits and addictions. From alcohol consumption to drugs, smoking, gambling, workaholism and more, you will see how people you once trusted and leaned on are actually extremely oblivious to the corrosive, deadening affects their daily choices have on their spirits, relationships and lives. Each unhealthy choice is a haunting circumstance that reverberates throughout their existence, holding them in places of fear, jealousy, pain and discord. Know, dear friend, that none of this is your fault. It is also not yours to endure, placate to or try to change.
As the Black Sheep, you will likely be questioned or even have your character assaulted and mocked for changing. Do not fear this. For as you awaken more and more to the peaceful nature of the Truth, it is not uncommon to face various hurdles within your family dynamic that feel extremely personal. You may find yourself the subject of family gossip, both within the family unit and outside of it. This hearsay, born out of an inability to understand the changes they see in you, can create a sense of betrayal and isolation as you navigate your new understanding of the world. But do not let this sway you or slow your path.
Your family of origin, and especially your spouse, may apply increased pressure to adhere to societal norms and expectations, especially at the beginning of your awakening journey. Oftentimes the family ego feels threatened when a soul dares to be different and express truth. “What will people think?” becomes a hurtful mantra they chant to themselves out of ego and fear. Their lack of support can manifest in various ways from subtle to aggressive, including dismissive attitudes, neglect, or even accusations that your growth and transformation are somehow dangerous or something to be questioned. Again, dear friend, this is not your fault. Do not question your path. It is only swallowing the bad medicine they are offering out of desperation not to face change themselves.
This external pressure can be challenging to withstand, but remember it is an important part of your journey to examine and move through as you continue to grow. And it is an important part of their journey to be given the opportunity to witness your evolution and, if they choose to, embrace you without reservation or concern.
Unhealthy Relationships Illuminated
Awakening is a fragile journey that must be treated with reverence and extreme care, remembering not to take for granted the clarity and connection you are cultivating, for these celestial gifts can be gone in the blink of an eye if not treated with due respect. In light of this it is important to be honest with yourself as to the nature of relationships in your life. Do not squander your budding peace or dim the light you are feeling within you by going back to abusive, expectant, judgmental or one-sided relationships or passionless, vapid traditions.
Oftentimes, after an initial awakening experience, individuals realize starkly and swiftly how unhealthy and crushing their romantic relationships are, such as marriage. You may feel desperate to drag your partner to change, evolve and wake up with you, to save themselves and your relationship, but remember, this is not within your capacity and it is not your calling.
Similarly, you may realize that your family of origin who you used to feel so akin to, shared memories and traditions with, has actually been like a weighted blanket for you, pushing you to fit the acceptable narrative and celebrating only the achievements that they feel reflect well on them personally. This is usually evident when, as shared above, you are gossiped about, chided, made less than or ignored. This is not to doubt the sincerity of their love for you as all action is born out of love, even the egregious ones.
In both these situations -spousal and family- remember your journey is yours. It is not for you to respond, react or even notice how others are perceiving you. Rather, feel the energy behind someone’s words. If they truly embrace the changes you are making, you will feel it. If not, love and release the context with which you interact with these people, moving on and allowing them to follow and embrace you at their own pace.
It may be hard to face, but taking responsibility for letting yourself be used, walked over, hurt and pushed-upon is an extremely important step to realizing the power you have to make a compelling shift forward in a positive, loving and -ultimately- empathetic energy. These relationships are the way they are because you co-created these unhealthy environments and your role within them. Embrace the gift of clarity on this instead of pointing fingers or laying blame.
Most importantly, DO NOT dutifully return to relationships out of obligation or fear of losing them. Going back to old relationship patterns after realizing your divine truth is similar to climbing your way out of a mud pit and thoroughly cleansing yourself only to return right back to the mud pit, wondering why you can’t stay clean. Your clarity and awakened state is only as strong as your ability to draw boundaries around yourself, no matter how challenging the transition. These decisions are a vital, extremely vital, part of your awakening journey.
How To Proceed
Avoid the feeling pressured to share your newfound wisdom and insights with your family and loved ones. It is not for you to explain how you are different or defend your awakening. As an enlightened and empowered beacon of love, it is your job to show your family and the world your inner peace and respect for yourself without convincing or explaining anything to them.
Navigating these challenges within your family during the awakening process requires resilience, patience, and a deep sense of self-assurance. It is essential to stay true to your inner truth, set healthy boundaries (which will feel new and difficult), and surround yourself with a supportive community and new relationships that uplift and validate your journey toward greater awareness and spiritual growth.
You may feel loneliness at times, bearing witness to the gradual erosion of your loved one’s fulfillment in life, while also feeling a longing for what you once thought was a loving connection. This sorrowful feeling may make you feel tempted to beg them to awaken, to join you in a life and eternity of awareness, truth and love. However it is important to avoid the desire to drag someone to an awakening experience for imposing unsolicited guidance will only have the opposite effect.
Instead, transform your concern for their self-destructive or harmful decisions into a motivating reminder for youself of how deeply you love them, reassuring you of the importance of your resolution in your own journey. Your loved ones are stuck in “the matrix”, but do not allow it to press down upon you as worry, fear and concern will crush you.
Stand tall and continue to emblazon the flickering light that resides within you. In a loud world where people feel the need to convince, explain and defend themselves, keep your voice quiet and your heart loud with hope and love for your family, believing it is possible for them too to release their grip on the illusion, silence their egos, and embrace their own light as their guiding star – a personal beacon of redemption and renewal.
To awaken is not to be without challenges or pain, but rather to understand their purposes and allow yourself to use these experiences to continue to deepen your connection with the Divine within you. Let your love, steeped in the colors of sadness and yearning for deeper family connection, shine like a lighthouse, gently guiding your loved one to the path of healing and transformation, where the Divine awaits with open arms to welcome them home.
Traveling Forward Freely
The Black Sheep, the awakened soul, is an intense empath. And as an empath, the burden of love and understanding will indefinitely weigh heavily upon you. Your soul may cry out to bring light to their lives, and real love to their hearts, but you find yourself at a loss, unable to bridge the gap between their reality and yours. Be patient, dear soul, and remember that their eyes are still veiled and their ears deaf to the whispers of awakening that stir within them.
Choose to walk the path of kindness and compassion, to be a beacon of light in a world that is shrouded in darkness. When you are awakened, it is not merely for your own personal release and freedom. You have been given this gift to become a vessel, a conduit of truth and love for all who follow behind you. You may be the lone leader on this trail, but you are never alone. For just as a candle may be the only light in the room, it is also quick to illuminate that the room is not empty. Do not look to share or ease your calling to shine independently.
Trust in the power of love to transcend all barriers, to bridge the divide between the awakened and the asleep. Know that your journey, though paved with challenges and obstacles, is a sacred one, a path of service and compassion that will lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself and others.
Your presence, compassion, unwavering commitment to truth and love have the power to awaken even the most slumbering souls, to inspire change and growth where stagnation once reigned. But remember that the choice is not yours as to who you help or when they see the light. The souls who need you will appear when they are ready. Make space for them by allowing those who disrespect, use or feed off of you to fade away until they, too, are genuinely ready to receive your love.
As you walk this sacred path of awakening and service, remember that you are never alone. The universe conspires in mysterious ways to support you, to guide you, to uplift you in moments of despair and doubt. Trust in the wisdom of the unseen hand that guides your steps, and know that you are held in the loving embrace of a higher power that transcends all limitations and boundaries.
There is nothing to fear. Feelings of being alone are a mere calling to dive deeper within and embrace yourself.
What should you do?
Continue to walk your path with courage and grace, with humility and compassion. Embrace the challenges that lie before you as opportunities for growth and transformation, and know that your light, though but a single flame in a sea of darkness, has the power to ignite a thousand others, to illuminate the way for all who seek the truth and the light.
Accept that your family may never understand or embrace you fully, let alone awaken themselves. However, remember that being accepted and “belonging” to anyone or anything other than yourself is an unachievable illusion.
Focus on belonging to yourself and connecting with the Divine within you. Allow your peace, kindness and understanding of your family to show them the path to their own personal permission to not only evolve, but also step forward into their own divine calling as well.
In these moments of solitude, we have the opportunity to connect deeply with our inner being and with the divine essence within us. It is a time for self-reflection, introspection, and spiritual growth. Embracing solitude allows us to listen to the whispers of our soul, gain clarity on our path, and nurture our connection with the universe. So, instead of fearing loneliness, let us embrace it as a sacred space for self-discovery and spiritual awakening.
“In the midst of darkness, a single flame can illuminate the path for many.”
With Love and Light – Jennifer Coleman, Executive Director ICH
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